Friday, April 10, 2009

What’s that Saint doing on a Trannie’s page?

Good Friday Morning Reflections

Last night at a special meal that was held at my Pastor’s home in remembrance of the last Passover meal that Jesus celebrated with his disciples I was compared with Thaddeus Jude and given a blessing accordingly. Now, though I have never been one to lean heavily upon the saints in the practice of my faith, I feel a kinship of sorts with Thaddeus Jude (or the disciple specifically designated as “Judas not Iscariot”) because he is the Patron Saint of hopeless and difficult cases. My faith in Christ has been a strong, though rough edged one and I often careen through life not seeking the wisdom that comes from looking at the examples of those gone before – even those purported to have attributes or experiences similar to my own. But on this festive night (culminating after a day and a week filled with some very difficult – almost hopeless in scope – personal circumstances) this comparison got me to thinking and today doing a bit of digging into this Patron of hard cases.

I found some interesting information on my newly claimed Patron on the web and with this quote and link to a very informative Dominican site I would share some of what I have found with you.

St. Jude, patron saint of the impossible
St. Jude Thaddeus was one of the twelve Apostles chosen by Jesus Christ. Because he has the same name as the traitor, people were slow to ask his help. He didn't mind being left in the shadows - and now is the special patron of all who feel left in the shadows. At our Shrine we ask him to help all in special need.”

Since you are here reading my blog I can almost assume that you are familiar with being left in shadows also, and so I hope you find some strength here like I did this morning.

Apparently (as I was told last night), I have more similarities with Thaddeus Jude than I was aware of, including what amounts to the same kind of bold, brash – sometimes careening-through-life – and I-dare-you-to-believe-like-I-do faith in Christ that I often exhibit (though I would simply call it passion). Some of these similarities are especially poignant because I am transgender and certainly, to some, this amounts to being a hopeless case! Sometimes it seems that way to me too. I am in the midst of the gender crossing process with almost no financial means now – certainly none to cover even the minutest of medical/surgical/cosmetic or legal procedures to further myself other than continuing a regimen of Estrogen and “spiro” that I purchase at Wal-Mart. I am in that middle ground where legal identity is messy because in California I am Eva Genevieve and female but to the rest of the nation still listed as male under the old name. This identity confusion is a problem for Medi-Cal and Medicare especially with all the changes in laws, regulations and database comparisons that all the agencies I deal with are now mandated to do, so my medical care is all messed up again. I know I am not the only gal that feels like she’s caught in Vaseline with the best stuff and the necessary stuff in life just out of reach. (Yes, I got that image from the Stone Temple Pilots song, and yes I do love head banging hard rock played way too loud). Nonetheless, I am living by faith with the expectations that somehow my God will bring me to wholeness while I am young enough to enjoy it.

My point in sharing this is that I can relate my life and my faith in ways to you that, like a true saint of old, can be followed and built upon even here amongst the transgender and others that also feel they are or have been part of the traditionally outcast from the faith community or trapped in the shadows of life. Like me, you no longer have to remain in the shadows. I, like Jude, carry the faith that endures and sustains one in those shadows that he was familiar with. This stuff of faith is available to you all too – right here and right now.

Sometimes too I feel like Harvey Milk calling out “I am here to recruit you”. Jesus said “follow me and I will make you fishers of men”, and he did not discriminate when he said it. So true to what they stand for and to the knowledge (and hopefully a tiny, mustard seedy bit of wisdom) gained from a look back Saint Jude this morning, I have faith and hope enough to share. I also have the chutzpah to say it’s time to come out and be you – boldly! You have some successful “hard cases” on your side. Go ahead; lean on us! Lean on our experiences and our faith and get out here. We know you can find faith and peace and joy within yourself too, and you don’t have to be bound in the shadows anymore. Being transgender (or any other brand of human) and a person of faith (any sincere, from-the-heart faith) at the same time is not impossible; but rather it’s beautiful!
I dare you to try it... We dare you to try it!
Hugs and Blessings,
Eva-Genevieve! Scarborough


  1. Hi, Eva. A beautiful post. I was in Barnes and Noble today and I was reading a book about the saints. THere wer many who needed God's call on their lives. I have research more about Jude. Thank you for the encouraging words.

  2. A very beautiful post. Eva, you're such a good writer.

  3. Great writing and thank you for this, I am trans and was looking for a patron saint!